Radio Silent

I’ve been “radio silent” for a bit (according to a few friends.) It’s been rather nice! What happened? I achieved an amazing sense of overwhelm that allowed me to step back, breath, and regroup. I’ve never in my life disengaged and taken time to take care of me like I have the last several weeks. 

I gave myself permission to stop and simply BE. 

My day job required everything I had in me from November through   a good part of March. Things ramped up like I never thought possible at the beginning of February. It became grueling, day in and day out. Not the job itself, but the people. I rarely speak of the day job, but I will here to help paint the picture. 

We made a change in January that upset many who frequented one location. I can only describe the daily interactions with angry people as often bordering on abuse. Every. Single. Day. Soul sucking. 

I was filled with dread when I woke up and had to go there, and beaten down when the day was over. Then I tried to do everything else in the evenings and on my days off. I wasn’t doing anything well, and I couldn’t get ahead of anything. Worst of all, I was changing. I didn’t like the “me” that all this was creating. I stopped recognizing myself. 

At that point, I realized that I had nothing left to give. Once I made peace with that, I stopped trying to do it all. Some interesting changes have taken place as a result. 

Sleep. I’ve begun sleeping better. To know me is to know I’m sleep in snippets, and am tired a lot of the time.  Now? I’m in bed between 9pm and 10pm most nights, and falling asleep. I wake less, and am sleeping more. Most days I feel refreshed when I wake. That’s new!

Friends. I am socializing a bit less, but it’s more fun. My head is in the experience, rather than in 100 different places. It’s quality time, and I’m enjoying “being fully present” for the first time in ages. 

Work. Things at the day job are calm again, and I’m happy again. I’m managing my time better, and am more productive. I’m not tired all the time, and I can focus. 

Direct Sales. I’m getting back into the swing of things, and I’m reminding myself that I need to maintain balance. I’m also evaluating and trying to decide exactly what I want from a direct sales business and how to get it. With a clear head, I can do that. 

Entertainment. My DVR is empty for the first time in years. I’m listening to podcasts I enjoy, and reading. There is TIME to unplug and just BE. 

Kitties. My cats have loved the extra time they have with me. We have more quality time than we did. Happy kitties are a good thing! 

I’m reminding myself to…

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