When last we met, I was recovering from a fall from a ladder. A few…developments, yes, we shall call them developments, have taken place since them…
- I joined a Direct Sales company. If anyone had told me a year ago I would be in Direct Sales, I would have laughed at them. What can I say? Everything clicked.
- I turned 50, with zero fanfare. In fact, I had the flu and was pretty darn miserable. Every plan I had was cancelled due to the ankle and head situation. Then I got sick. I will celebrate next year!
- I discovered I was mis-diagnosed, and had a pretty significant concussion. Significant. Concussion. My doc was pretty horrified.
- My mother died. It’s ok. She’s in a much better place and is happy and at peace for the first time in years.
- I was forced to slow down and reassess my entire life – how I live, what I do, my daily activities, what is important, what is not – there has been a big shift.
Let’s start with the head injury. It’s been four months and twenty days. I still have a lump and swelling on my head. I can no longer multi-task. I am unable to lift anything more than about seven pounds without “feeling it”. I forget my words from time time to time. I tired easily. Headaches are more frequent. I become extremely anxious when I see anyone on a ladder. I am now terrified of ladders. Stressful situation trigger issues. I have been forced to slow down, as I can not manage well with a lot of physical or mental exertion. I mean WAY down. Life is different. It has shifted.
I am beginning to see small improvements. They can not happen fast enough for me. I’m told it could be a year before I’m “normal” again. Normal. What is that? Do I really want to be who I was before the ladder incident? Hmmmm. I kind of like new me.
I named my concussion Herman. I visualize him as one of those green gremlins that got wet and was fed after midnight. Herman and I are co-existing. Some days he takes the lead, some days I take the lead. Some days he’s quite obnoxious. I work hard to not aggravate Herman.
The ankle is healed and unsteady. It gets sore easily. I’ve not walked since I fell because I’ve not been up to the exertion. I plan to start soon, as I need to do one more thing to move forward.
My mother died after many years of ups and downs with her physical and mental health. I was unable to fly, and could not go out when it all came down. While I would have liked to be there to support my brother, Herman saw to it that I kept my feet on the ground. She is now at peace.
Life is different. Everything has changed. I have modified so many things in my life and how I live it, I look back in amazement. I have a good attitude. I do NOT let it get me down. I get frustrated with it sometimes, but I will win in the end. Slow and steady wins the race.
That’s the recap of the last few months. Taking life one safe step at a time. Managing Herman. Embracing the new shifts. Living each day with intention rather than just living. Life is a gift.
Cats will find their own way down. Do not climb a ladder to save one.
If you are moving too fast, you will fall down stairs and off of ladders. Slow down. Look around. Smell the roses.
Some people want to live and fight hard to do so. Some don’t. You can not force someone to live who no longer wants to.
Direct Sales is actually a pretty good gig. Don’t believe everything you hear.
Meditation helps calm me and prepare me for what the day has in store.
Not everyone gets a second chance like I did. I am eternally grateful and don’t want to waste a minute.
Welcome to my blog. A few things got me here…
I turn 50 next month. I’m not ready for that. I’m still single, and I’ve become “ok” with the idea that I will be alone for the rest of my life. I’d like to shift that to something more positive.
I have had a series of unfortunate events set my world on it’s ear. I need to either give up and disappear, or stand up and fight. Somewhere in the depths of despair, my brain snapped a few nights ago, and I decided on fight.
I have spent the last 8 years floundering. I need to move forward. I need to do SOMETHING to spur change.
I have a job that I love most of the time. It does not pay nearly enough. I can no longer afford to love my job. I’m exploring other avenues. I need to find “side work” that can fill in what is needed, or a new job in the corporate world…where I really do not want to be. That world squashed my soul once before. I am exploring options while the people in my life pressure me to go back to corporate life.
I injured my ankle for the third time in 15 months on Christmas night. Pulled, strained, and torn ligaments, again. I need to find a way to afford proper rehab so that that this does not happen again. I had this wonderful goal to run last year, and was sidelined. It took six months for the last injury to heal. Let’s hope for a shorter healing this time around.
I have major expenses involving my home. Home ownership is not for the faint of heart, nor for the poor. I won’t go into the details. Suffice it to say, it’s not pretty.
I have a few health issues. I need lose some weight, lower my blood pressure, and get my thyroid in line. I need to focus more on food, which is hard to do when you’re an emotional eater. I have SO many emotions!
I don’t have internet at home. I spend a lot of time at Starbucks. I drink Mint Medley herb tea the majority of the time, as caffeine really isn’t good for me. I have a table that they call “mine”, and the staff is super cool. Free wifi? Not really, but the tea is good and inexpensive. I tend to take a lot with me when I go there, as there is so much to do!
I have decided that I will allow myself a few minutes a day to be sad, wallow, and have a pity party. The rest of the day I will be positive and looking for opportunities. This is my life, I need to get started!