June. Officially summer. Hot days, warm nights. In Florida, it’s not even the hottest time (we’ll revisit that in August/September!) when we were kids it meant pool time, motor home vacations, reading a LOT of books and vegetating until the school year began.
I woke this morning feeling like time has swept past me and I’ve not moved. Ever feel like that?
I have a problem you see, a very big problem. I live as I was trained to live. I wake up, I go to work, I work hard, I come home, I eat dinner, I go to bed.
Trained since birth!
Now, that’s not to say I don’t socialize. I go out to dinner, meet up with friends, all the fun things. I don’t do that as often as I probably should. You know, the balance thing and all. Balance? Yes, it’s a thing. I’m told it’s an important thing.
I find myself in a rut this first day of June. I just don’t make enough time for me. There, I said it. It’s out in the universe.
I need more me time.
Sounds simple, yes? No. It’s my age old struggle.
What to DO?
I declare today the first day that I purposefully spend a little more time on me. This month I will do more things that benefit me, my life, my future. Wow, that sounds incredibly selfish! How DARE I think such a thing? Another part of the training. Oh, that damn training to be content with nothing, to not over reach, to not dream of a better future, to not be selfish. I may need a detox of some kind…
I want to better serve the people around me. Friends. Strangers. I want to make a difference. I want to be someone who can make someone smile, even if they don’t realize it. I want to bring forth joy.
I don’t need pomp and circumstance. I just want to give back to this world of ours, and be a brighter spot, a positive spot, a good person.
I will work on me, body and soul. A healthier me is better for everyone.
I think it’s doable. I just need to start.
I’ve been “radio silent” for a bit (according to a few friends.) It’s been rather nice! What happened? I achieved an amazing sense of overwhelm that allowed me to step back, breath, and regroup. I’ve never in my life disengaged and taken time to take care of me like I have the last several weeks.
I gave myself permission to stop and simply BE.
My day job required everything I had in me from November through a good part of March. Things ramped up like I never thought possible at the beginning of February. It became grueling, day in and day out. Not the job itself, but the people. I rarely speak of the day job, but I will here to help paint the picture.
We made a change in January that upset many who frequented one location. I can only describe the daily interactions with angry people as often bordering on abuse. Every. Single. Day. Soul sucking.
I was filled with dread when I woke up and had to go there, and beaten down when the day was over. Then I tried to do everything else in the evenings and on my days off. I wasn’t doing anything well, and I couldn’t get ahead of anything. Worst of all, I was changing. I didn’t like the “me” that all this was creating. I stopped recognizing myself.
At that point, I realized that I had nothing left to give. Once I made peace with that, I stopped trying to do it all. Some interesting changes have taken place as a result.
Sleep. I’ve begun sleeping better. To know me is to know I’m sleep in snippets, and am tired a lot of the time. Now? I’m in bed between 9pm and 10pm most nights, and falling asleep. I wake less, and am sleeping more. Most days I feel refreshed when I wake. That’s new!
Friends. I am socializing a bit less, but it’s more fun. My head is in the experience, rather than in 100 different places. It’s quality time, and I’m enjoying “being fully present” for the first time in ages.
Work. Things at the day job are calm again, and I’m happy again. I’m managing my time better, and am more productive. I’m not tired all the time, and I can focus.
Direct Sales. I’m getting back into the swing of things, and I’m reminding myself that I need to maintain balance. I’m also evaluating and trying to decide exactly what I want from a direct sales business and how to get it. With a clear head, I can do that.
Entertainment. My DVR is empty for the first time in years. I’m listening to podcasts I enjoy, and reading. There is TIME to unplug and just BE.
Kitties. My cats have loved the extra time they have with me. We have more quality time than we did. Happy kitties are a good thing!
I’m reminding myself to…
I need to drop some poundage. A year of inactivity has taken a toll on the scale.
I’ve gotten into the habit of eating a full dinner late, 8:00 or 9:00 (sometimes later) at night. I’ve decided a couple things:
- I am often not hungry for a full dinner but eat anyhow.
- I think the full dinner thing is a habit, not a need.
- I gotta break the habit.
I did a bit of shopping at ye ole healthy food store. I looked at meal replacement shakes. Now, let’s be honest, many of them are full of crap that we do not need in our bodies! Many taste like crap too. What to do?
Experiment and try some on for size. My criteria?
- Small ingredients list
- No fake sugar
- No casein
- No whey
- No dairy of any kind
- Gluten free
First up, I tried something I’d not seen before. It is called Phood and is a plant-based option. According to their website, it is a shake/supplements in one kind of thing. They boast:
- 100% Plant-Based from whole food sources
- No Major Allergens; Dairy, Soy, Gluten, etc
- No Animal
- No Genetically Modified Organisms (GMO)
Phood met my criteria!
Upon opening the envelope, I was struck by the nasty smell. Uh-oh. I couldn’t tell exactly what the nasty was. I decided to keep going. After all, the front AND back of the envelope fit all my criteria. (And we all know never to trust the front of a package!)
- It shook well!
- It had a nice shake like quality and constancy.
- It was not gritty.
I braced myself…I tasted it..and was pleasantly surprised. I LIKED IT!
I drank it at 6:30. I was comfortably full the rest of the evening. At about 10:30 I wished I had a cookie, but I think that’s because I was looking at pictures of cookies.
Phood is on my list of shakes to try again! I wonder how the chocolate tastes? They have a chocolate caramel flavor…
More about Phood can be found by clicking here.
(I am not associated with Phood, not do I receive any compensation for this review.)
2016 goes down in the history books as being the most emotionally draining year ever! I am happy to wear a “Survivor” badge and be done with it!
Falling off the ladder was the easy part. Who woulda thunk it?
Brain injuries take time, and I have little patience. There are many things I now have to do differently. That’s ok. I can still do things!
The mother died in April. The emotional aftermath of that was (still is a bit) trying. Both my brother and I have suffered much anger. For a long time, I allowed myself to yell at her once a day. I do that a lot less often now.
My sweet niece went and had herself a baby a few weeks early in September. A little boy named Leo, who has the cutest little smile and giggle. My brother and sister-in-law are amazing grandparents, the kind we really didn’t have. Although our grandparents weren’t old when we born, they were. We as society are much younger at our age than they were at our age. Leo is the bright, shining light in a year of…2016. For everyone.
The father died after Thanksgiving. Another shock. I was sitting at home on Saturday evening when my brother called about 9:30. I had talked to him earlier that evening, so the horrible sense of dread washed over me. Apparently he died at dinner. Truth be told, he did love to eat. So that’s a good thing. He managed to hang around long enough to meet Leo. That’s a good thing too. His years of bad health are now behind him, and he and the mother can live in peace.
I didn’t get back to walking, and I took one yoga class. Now I feel like I didn’t get back to walking and took only one yoga class!
My direct sales business is still part-time. I go back and forth between low and high income producing months. I really am not consistent. Gotta work on that!
I saw 2017 in with a bang…actually, sound asleep. I feel asleep at 5:30pm New Years Eve, woke around 8pm, was asleep again by 10pm. It left as quietly as it came, and I let the door bang it on the ass on the way out.
Here’s to 2017! A bright, shiny new year full of promise, hope, love, and peace. I have great plans. I will become physically active again. I signed up for a 5K in March, so I’d better! I will grow my direct sales business. I will make new friends to invite to my cool Facebook group. I am doing the 6-Week Intentional Action Course, and while I’m behind a week, I’m still in. I will go to bed earlier and get up earlier so I can get more done in a day. I will lose some weight before my niece’s wedding. Yes, we get a wedding this year! I will blog consistently and figure out all the other social media stuff that baffles me. I will re-brand myself, relaunch my biz, and relaunch ME!
2017 will be amazing!