(If you’re new here, I first introduced Herman in Derailed on May 31. I talked about him again a few times, including in Yearly Doctor Visit on January 27, 2017. Herman is the area of my head that began as a concussion, but I now know is a skull fracture. It’s fascinating to me how the brain and body works. Making him a person in my life has helped me cope with much better than when he was simply “the lump”. Don’t fall of a ladder and you won’t have to worry about having a Herman in your life!)
Herman has been quiet for a while. He behaved, he let me sleep at night (with my head on a pillow sometimes!) he didn’t bother me during the day, in fact, I kind of forgot about him…I figure he was on vacation. Maybe a cruise, or a trip abroad. Wherever he was, I was happy for the solitude…
…He’s back. He’s back and he obviously doesn’t like what I’ve been up to! Herman needs a new hobby. It began on Friday when things got really crazy and hectic at work. I was working the register, ringing up people who had just finished their fabulous experience at our shop. The rest of the staff was working on helping them get packed up and re-configuring our space to accommodate a class of 18 people the next day. It was a huge undertaking.
As luck would have it, I got too many questions from too many people, plus the phone began ringing and customers needed attention. Suddenly, it was as if I was moving in slow motion. Everything around me was moving at super speed and I was unable to do anything but observe. I quickly realized that this was not good, and removed myself from the chaos. I went back to the register, ignored the phone and focused on one customer at a time.
Within about twenty minutes, the store was cleared out, the area re-set, and Herman was bothering me. The tingly sensation was back, and the dull throb began. He’s been with me for four days now. He doesn’t want me putting my head on a pillow, he’s a bit sore, and he’s reminding me to slow the heck down!
Herman really amazes me. This fellow who lives in my head and reminds me to step back, slow down, and behave. I had a hectic week last week, and he stepped in. It’s a love/hate relationship I have with Herman. Most of the time his timing stinks. I have a lot on my plate right now and need to keep a pace. He loves me enough to make me slow down and not keep a pace.
Oh Herman. Whatever will I do with you?
I had a birthday this past week. 51. 5-1. I lived to tell the tale! I had a very nice week, filled with friendship, excellent wine, fabulous food and celebrations. I received some nice gifts too! The best one might have been a home cooked meal. Seriously. A meal that I did not have to cook, complete with dessert! mmmm…Happy birthday to me!
2016 goes down in the history books as being the most emotionally draining year ever! I am happy to wear a “Survivor” badge and be done with it!
Falling off the ladder was the easy part. Who woulda thunk it?
Brain injuries take time, and I have little patience. There are many things I now have to do differently. That’s ok. I can still do things!
The mother died in April. The emotional aftermath of that was (still is a bit) trying. Both my brother and I have suffered much anger. For a long time, I allowed myself to yell at her once a day. I do that a lot less often now.
My sweet niece went and had herself a baby a few weeks early in September. A little boy named Leo, who has the cutest little smile and giggle. My brother and sister-in-law are amazing grandparents, the kind we really didn’t have. Although our grandparents weren’t old when we born, they were. We as society are much younger at our age than they were at our age. Leo is the bright, shining light in a year of…2016. For everyone.
The father died after Thanksgiving. Another shock. I was sitting at home on Saturday evening when my brother called about 9:30. I had talked to him earlier that evening, so the horrible sense of dread washed over me. Apparently he died at dinner. Truth be told, he did love to eat. So that’s a good thing. He managed to hang around long enough to meet Leo. That’s a good thing too. His years of bad health are now behind him, and he and the mother can live in peace.
I didn’t get back to walking, and I took one yoga class. Now I feel like I didn’t get back to walking and took only one yoga class!
My direct sales business is still part-time. I go back and forth between low and high income producing months. I really am not consistent. Gotta work on that!
I saw 2017 in with a bang…actually, sound asleep. I feel asleep at 5:30pm New Years Eve, woke around 8pm, was asleep again by 10pm. It left as quietly as it came, and I let the door bang it on the ass on the way out.
Here’s to 2017! A bright, shiny new year full of promise, hope, love, and peace. I have great plans. I will become physically active again. I signed up for a 5K in March, so I’d better! I will grow my direct sales business. I will make new friends to invite to my cool Facebook group. I am doing the 6-Week Intentional Action Course, and while I’m behind a week, I’m still in. I will go to bed earlier and get up earlier so I can get more done in a day. I will lose some weight before my niece’s wedding. Yes, we get a wedding this year! I will blog consistently and figure out all the other social media stuff that baffles me. I will re-brand myself, relaunch my biz, and relaunch ME!
2017 will be amazing!
Friday morning, a reminder popped up on my phone first thing:
Yes, that was, and still is, my pet name for my mother. I said the “F” word and threw my phone down. Then I cried a little. I’m not really sure why I cried. Sadness at what was never there? Anger for what was? I’m not sure. I promptly put it out of my mind.
Saturday morning I got a message from my brother:
“First thing when grabbing my phone I check FB. 1st notification: Today is (insert mother’s name) birthday. Help her to celebrate it. 70 years old. Fuck.”
I laughed. I messaged him back that I got a reminder yesterday. Then I called him and told him I’d never heard him use that word before.
We laughed about how the reminders made us react. I guess that’s healthy? Are we healing? He said he always remembers hers and the father’s birthdays because they are double digits. Hers is 10-22. The father’s is 11-11. Then he realized that 11×2=22. We laughed some more. Then I said, “This takes their whole co-dependent thing to a new level!”
We then decided that we were going to file this and get on with our days. His daughter had just arrived with his new grandson, and he was going to go be the amazing grampa that he is. I relaxed, snuggled with the cats, and had a nice day as well.
We have now survived the first Mother’s Day and first birthday. We’re getting better at it I think. I try really hard not to let her have any of my glitter anymore.
PS, anyone know how to disable a FB profile that no one knows the login or password to?
Dusk. That special time of day when the sun is not up and not down. When the sky and the horizon are almost the same color. When it’s darn hard to see when you have a double astigmatism 😀
Last week Hurricane Matthew visited the east coast of Florida before taking a toll in Georgia, South Caroline, and North Caroline. This photo was taken that Thursday evening, when we had some clouds and a bit of rain and wind on the west coast of Florida.
It was dusk, it has been raining, and through the pink clouds there was a rainbow. Since I can not pass up a good cloud or rainbow photo, especially at dusk or sunset, I snapped a pic.
Thank you Hurricane Matthew for not bringing harm to any of my friends. I know a few people in the Carolinas who will be dealing with loss of power and flooding for a while, but homes, pets and persons are safe.